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It's been so long I don't even think people come around anymore, did a lot of stuff. nearing the end of my degree now, going for a Master and if things goes well maybe a PhD in japanese literature. Can't draw anymore because I don't have any free time left and it's killing me but in my case, maybe it's what we'd call "childhood's end". I look at my stuff and see "2011" or "2013" and I notice I haven't made a proper illustration for mor than two years now. can't say I'm sad, I'm having fun with what I got right now, lets say It, I get to read books in japanese all day long and it's fun as hell. but I kinda feel nostalgia from the time I hade nothing else than my illustrations in my mind. 

I realised, the one who draw the line of your own limite, what you think is the best you can get of yourself, is nobody else than yourself. start seriously doubting yourself and it's game over. having doubt is not bad itself, it helps getting better, but when you really start thinking what you do is just crap then it's the end. I've been doubting my abilities about drawing for a long time now and lost all confidence, I somehow slowly gave up. I can't be an illustrator and thinking about it is killing me, it'll probably be that one regret I'll never get rid of.

well, the post seems moody and dark and all but I hope you get the second reading as well, "you who want to be what I couldn't become, never give up ya hear me ?" whoever you are, and whatever you want to do, do it with all your might and you'll get trough. don't give up, never. you live only once, lets live your life to the fullest ;) 

Cheers and love ~

deviantID

Murayama-Midori
(Midow)
Artist | Digital Art
France
Is a boring human.
wanna be bored together ?

>>>> PIXIV: www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=95…
>>>>TWITTER: twitter.com/Midow32

Current Residence: Earth.
Operating System: Laptop-Win8(64)/Nvidia GTX660/I5-3210M DualCore/RAM 8Go/Working on Intuos4
Favourite cartoon character: Senjogahara hitagi& Araragi koyomi 化物語/ Chitanda Eru & Oreki houtarou 氷菓
Personal Quote: Ha ?
Interests
Hi mankind ! 
Some months ago I said I'll be posting some new stuff on a regular basis if I manage to get some free time. I did actually, unfortunately there must be something about my Karma because at the same time My Laptop's hard drive (one month old) Died in pain. It took another month to get a new one (freely obviously as the previous one had a malfunction). So that's the whole story >_< also the fact that I'm working full time this month + summer studies ('cause I'll be litteraly steping in Hell back to college in october) I don't even have that much time to "live" aside. 

So to say it Quickly: 
-paradoxically I don't have a penny left
-Not that much free time
-My health is slowly going from "not that good" to "yeah If you don't do something soon you'll die from exhaustion, a**hole"
-can't say my private life's going that wel... oh wait I dont have one.

BUT you know what ? I don't give a damn crap ! As I said in my previous post, for the first time in my life I know what I want to do, and how to achieve It. Lately It seems that society and even fate want to tell me "f*ck off you moron, daydreamers like you can just go die" but I won't give up, I keep on meeting wonderful people at conventions or in my daily life, folks that live their dream, and other that gave up on theirs. Those guys keep on telling me "You have only one life, give it your all, If it really doesn't work then to bad, but don't do like us, don't give up before even trying".

I swear I'll give my best, not just for me, but to be able one day to help someone in the same current situation i'm in now. If you helped me, I'll help you. If you didn't help me, I'll help you anyway, that's how my world works.

Do your best too folks !! 
PEACE
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Lillemor - SUPERCELL
  • Reading: JLPT books
  • Watching: Hataraku Maou-sama !
  • Playing: Dragon&#039;s Crown
  • Eating: okayu
  • Drinking: Hot Milk with honey in it

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:iconppgrainbow:
ppgrainbow Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the llama badge! :huggle:
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:iconkrysalid:
Krysalid Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012
Thanks for the fav :D
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:iconindependentlyconceal:
Hey thanks for the fav .. thanks a lot :hug:
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:iconmurayama-midori:
Murayama-Midori Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012   Digital Artist
You're welcome, It's a pretty awesome picture :D
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:iconn0rks:
N0rks Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks a lot for the :+fav: on Assassins Creed :: Alta´r! :aww:

:rose:
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:iconmurayama-midori:
Murayama-Midori Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2011   Digital Artist
you're welcome ^_^)/
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:iconandreachristen:
AndreaChristen Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2011
Thanks for the :+fav:! :)
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:iconjasonroll:
JasonRoll Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :)
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:iconmurayama-midori:
Murayama-Midori Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2010   Digital Artist
you're welcome :D
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:iconmahirhisar:
mahirhisar Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010
thanks
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